For restoration to come, ruin must first have taken place. And although I don’t remember asking for the ruin of my heart, it has come upon me one year at a time, one encounter at a time, one thoughtless word at a time. Unbeknownst to me, yet with my permission all the same, a room was built within to house this otherwise staggering pain. Its entrance slammed and padlocked shut, with any new wound swiftly stuffed under the door. A “Do Not Disturb” sign has not been hung – why ever would I put a sign on a door that I am rather oblivious of? However, I fear that even worse may have happened; the sign destined for this “unknown” door has instead been placed as a placard around my neck.
Oh, what am I to do? Just think of all the people that I have kept at a distance! Just think of all the hurt that remains because I have been unwilling to look within and discover its presence! Oh, God, what am I to do?
Unlock the door, you say? But what if it all tumbles out and injures me under its weight? What if others ask about the new bruises they see? What if I am rejected because of the ugliness of my pain? What if...
On the other hand, what if I don’t unlock the door? What if I am letting these wounds – and the fear of revisiting them – cause me to miss out on a vibrant life of freedom and joy. This is most certainly happening... There must be hope for restoration! There must!
Thankfully, yes, there is hope.
And so, with the arrival of today, a season of restoration also dawned. But to be honest, I don’t yet know what it looks like to unlock this room, nor do I know how long the restoration process will take. However, what I do know is that my heart and future are in good hands, loving hands. God will guide me to this locked space and help me turn the key to its dusty existence. There he will tenderly restore me, encourage me, heal me and build me up...both by his Spirit, but also through those he has placed in my life.
Yes, there is hope.
God, my shepherd! I don't need a thing.
You have bedded me down in lush meadows,
you find me quiet pools to drink from.
True to your word,
you let me catch my breath
and send me in the right direction.
Psalm 23:1-3 (The Message)
