A Time to Grow Up

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” ~The words of Paul in 1 Corinthians 13:11

At the age of thirty, one would think that I had “put the ways of childhood behind me” by now. But I have recently recognized in myself a lingering; a refusal to give up my childish ways. It is not as evident as a screaming, thrashing youngster who isn’t getting their own way; instead my childishness lies more subtly in my warped ability to befriend bitterness and deny responsibility for my life’s currently disagreeable condition. Regretfully, I have reduced myself to the position of a child. With each immature stomp of my foot, I choose not to forgive and I shift the weight of any and all blame to my past, my parents, my peers, to anything and anyone...but myself. Thus freedom is unattainable, and any chance of growth or success is cut off at the knees.

So until now, I have been crawling through life, not daring to stand up and cause change; instead I wriggle under each hurdle, never claiming true victory. But in my daily wrestling to seek God’s face and guidance, his Word has become like a mirror. Reflecting back at me is my pride, unforgiving heart and lackadaisical attitude, and I see that I have made myself the guest of honour at one of the world’s most lavish pity parties. With my childlike thinking, I was too ignorant to know that self-pity acts in opposition to growth and success. Now, with this newly illuminated vision of myself, my next decision is evident...

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ~James 1:2-4

It is, therefore, with great joy that I enter this season. The hurdles and mountains still remain, and don’t be fooled – some of them are quite colossal! However, the anticipation of meeting the grown-up Erin has given me strength. Not only am I now standing, but I can hear the gravel crunch beneath my feet as I work hard and persevere towards the finish line, accepting the blame and God’s forgiveness simultaneously. Nothing can stop me now!